into silence she was fed

every night for a month he visited me
while i was sleeping 
would lay his hands on my body
quiet i'd awake and how still i would be
and on the last night he took me to the shower
soaped me and pressed inside, pushed
but my silence unerved him and he carried me to bed

and with the soap and come 
drying stiff and white on me he said
i'll sleep on the floor
so baby baby i can't hurt you any more

why bother

maybe i should have killed him
when i knew the time was right 
or left him stranded on the highway at night
maybe i should've screamed
when that poker game landed another one
between my sheets

he liked me because i didn't like him
he thought i played the piano well
he couldn't believe i had never had lessons
he thought i was sweet
he couldn't believe i was 21
he said i looked 16

he said i was sweet as he climbed into bed with me
and after he was through 
he cried apology after apology
then fell asleep
and i 
of course 
stupid and silent until dawn